| Newbie Story (plus questions and concerns) |
[Dec. 27th, 2009|06:23 am] |
Hi there. I'm new to the community here and was hoping to perhaps find some advice and support regarding my gender identity issues. I hope that making a post of a personal nature is acceptable. I saw some other posts like this and there didn't seem to be any problems (I do apologize for the length of this post, but felt it was necessary to explain myself as fully as possible). I hope that I've come to the right place for this. One of the names I go by on the internet is "Raven," so that is a fair enough name to use when addressing me (I like it due to it's gender ambiguity).
( Cut in order to save your friend's page from my huge wall of text... ) |
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| An idea and a challenge |
[Dec. 26th, 2009|01:52 pm] |
Last weekend Vancouver's Trans Alliance Society put on our second annual Holiday Party. We had turkey dinner with all the trimmings (plus vegan alternatives), music, Santa and gifts for everyone. We arranged this because too many people in our community don't have family to celebrate the holidays with anymore. Chosen family being the alternative to blood family, we have chosen to open our hearts to all our family whether we know you yet or not. You do have family to spend the holiday with, if you look around a bit.
Okay, this is good for the trans community of Vancouver, but what about everyone else? This is where the challenge comes in: We're not being jealous of our idea. We're not holding copyright on it so if you want to hold a similar event in your home town, we won't do anything but cheer you on (except maybe tell you how we made our arrangements to help you get started).
It would be beyond fantastic to see this event take root and spread to other cities the same way the DOR did. It's time we spread a little joy around. So who wants to take the challenge?
Xposted here and there. |
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| A request for specific information: |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|09:22 pm] |
Greetings. I have dual nationality, and was born, live and currently attend university outside of America. I am aware that it is possible to handle passport renewal by post or at the embassy in London; are there postable forms to use to make alterations to one's passport and/or social security information?
Is it possible to have gender-/sex-related information stricken from such profiles (or replaced with 'N/A' or an equivalent), rather than switched from one pole to another? Particularly if race-related information is not displayed, it seems as though gender-/sex-related information as well should not be. In practice, what do intersex or otherwise effectively gender-neutral individuals do?
Other than passport information and social security information, are there any other government databases which store relevant information to be changed/erased?
Are there available online step-by-step instructions for the procedures for altering the information of these two and any other records of significance?
I can look at my passport but, though I know my social security number, if 'social security information' exists how may I go about looking at it to find out what it is?
Thank you very much for your time. |
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| Intro |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|11:07 am] |
Hey, I'm new to this community. MtF, 27, from Upper Michigan. I've been living full time as a female for about 3 months now. Doing the hormones on my own. I take 2 mg of estro and 25 mg of spiro in the morning and 50 mg of spiro and my vitamins at night, just started in the last two weeks. Wondering what others have started on and the results you've seen. (Please do NOT preach to me about the dangers of DIY Hormones)
Otherwise I am having problems with my computer. I seem to be having trouble reprogramming my parental units. Both the male and female units break down frequently when using my username. (My username is too long and complicated and cannot contain any other letters or numbers besides STEVE.) I no longer answer to my slave name. So yeah I'm wondering how I can get both units to accept my new username and correct pronoun usage? Sister units and their kid units are unaffected by my changes at least.
The parental female seems to think I have a virus. The female unit has been avoiding all public contact with me and seems to be embarrassed by me. She seems to think the whole thing is a phase and that I am ill. She also feels the need to try to explain to everyone in the family what she thinks is going on and that "just ignore him, he's only trying to get attention". She has called me a pervert in the past and said that everyone is gonna think I'm a child molester if I continue on this path.
The male unit claimed when I started my transition to "be an expert on sexual orientation and gender identity" ...based on a college course he took back in the 70's... yet he still can't understand the difference between the two. He has read a few books on the subject and seems to be trying to understand at least. Funny story.... he went to Salvation Army and bought a bunch of female clothes for me to try on, to show his support.... Well all the female clothes are UUUUUUGLY and from the 70's and 80's.
I've been informing both units for over a year of my intention to transition but how can I get them both to fully accept and embrace the new, happy me?
And an observation. As a male I had few friends, girls thought I was creepy and guys avoided me altogether. But from the moment I've begun transitioning... guys are weirded out and now I have girlfriends like crazy. Is this typical?
Since my childhood I've known inside that I should have been a girl and I've wanted more than anything to get pregnant and be a mother. Not possible yet I know but do you other MTF's have a strong maternal instinct? It's not that I want to be a mother (I already have a daughter with an ex) but I NEED to get pregnant.... It's been a lifelong ambition. And when I try to explain to someone that I'm jealous of every other genetic female I see and they say "No you aren't. You wouldn't like periods and PMSing and pregnancy and all that..." How can I get people to understand that those things are what I've prayed for my entire life? Do others feel this way? |
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| Hmm |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|08:01 pm] |
So, after about 8 months of MtF transition and therapy I flew a crossed the country to visit my family who had never seen me since I came out to them 5 months prior over the phone. They were extremely supportive and it was spread quickly through my extended family with very few problems (twilight zone moment!). So I arrive and get nothing but reinforcement about my decision. Constantly everyone has been telling me I am a completely different person and full of life in stark contrast prior to transition.
That being said all my previous reservations for full transition have fallen and now I'm looking at coming with a sense of commitment. So right now I dress act and with the help of hormones I know I appear ambiguous to people at a distance. My own father even made mention I seemed to be at a "mid way point."
I'm really looking to hear others thoughts on that point of no return which I feel I'm getting to. I know I'll be working on my voice and electrolysis very soon, and other steps that it will become impossible to remain in my current comfort zone to be successful. I mostly just let people presume I'm homosexual male since I'm more comfortable with that. With the full changes I would push for full female the prospect of "point of no return" is terrifying. The hardest is I'm currently going to school to be an MA and I'm worried about attempting to find work without legal change of gender and name. I seem to be more comfortable with the idea of getting a job first then transitioning while in employment so I can establish my skill as an employee rather than my transition being top issue.
I'll stop, I'm rambling. |
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| Hello! |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|11:24 pm] |
Hi all. I thought I would introduce myself. My name is Katie, and I am actually quite cisgendered. I am here because I am honorarily part of a very uniquely awesome family. I live with one of my oldest and dearest friends and his son and daughter. When I met my roommate, he was superwoman - mother of three, working wife, holding down two jobs and going to school to support a husband and children. Now, at the age of 40-something, he is navigating through life as a ftm, and trying to fit all of the pieces together.
Myself being happily cisgendered, I have no frame of personal reference for his life, but I love him and support him the best that I can. So, here I am, trying to support my roommate/friend/family through something that, frankly, I haven't experienced before, and in my narrow social circle am not likely to see on a daily basis. It's a journey for all of us, and I am trying to help his daughters understand as much as I can (they are adults, in their twenties, with kids of their own), but again, it's not something I fully understand. His son seems to be fine with the transition, it's the girls who are having a hard time dealing with it.
Did any of you experience having to help your children understand? How did you do it? Can you think of anything I can say to help the girls understand a little more? (They don't listen to their mom, because, well, they're kids, damn it!! lol)
Thanks for being here as a livejournal community. I am so glad I have found this!
For the record, after he gets my fetlife profile set up (hahaha. My fetish? I am straight and vanilla! HAHAHA!!! What a profile....) we are getting him a livejournal, because we were reading some of this community's posts together, and he's looking forward to joining!
I'll stop rambling now. |
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| US: Survey on Ageing for Trans folks 45-74: *please do today!* |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|11:57 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | activism | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eagles - Life in the Fast Lane (Absolute Radio) | ] |
Forwarded from Loree Cook-Daniels. This is last-minute as they need responses by the end of today, but please cross-post to appropriate communities!
Loree Cook-Daniels from the FORGE Transgender Ageing Network here. A few years ago, MetLife and the LGBT Ageing Issues Network of the American Society on Ageing did a well-publicised survey of LGBT people age 45-64. Unfortunately, for a bunch of reasons, there were few to no Trans respondents. They are redoing the survey and trying to do this one right, but we need more Trans respondents -- NOW (by the end of the weekend).
Note that this survey is set up in a complicated way that redirects anyone who is not in the right age bracket and/or that doesn't indicate they're Trans by noting they were assigned a different gender at birth. (So if you get a question about elected officials being out of touch, know you've been redirected.) Despite that, the questions were written for a mixed LGBT audience, so they're not all as Trans-savvy as we would like. Please be gracious if you fall within the needed age range and answer anyway, because we'd like to: 1) have Trans respondents; and 2) show other researchers that you CAN get Trans respondents in a mixed LGBT survey, if you outreach.
Below is MetLife's description and the link. Thank you.
Loree
( Read more... ) |
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| Attention: Queer Jewish Students |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|02:15 pm] |
The National Union of Jewish LGBTQQI Students's 14th annual conference will take place January 15th to the 17th at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. As usual the conference will be held over a weekend, and co-hosted by a campus Hillel, the NUJLS leadership conference features workshops, services, community building, and social time. This year's keynotes are Rabbi Bradley Artsen, Dean of the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies and comedian Dana Goldberg!
We welcome students from all sorts of backgrounds (religious, not, newly out, not, liberal to conservative, and more). Workshops, speakers, and text studies address such topics as Judaism and homosexuality, activism, relationships, ethics, coming out, and politics. Last year more than one hundred students came from across the United States and Canada to participate, and we anticipate a similar turnout this year! Registration ($80) includes meals (all kosher), housing, and all conference events. Travel and registrations subsidies are available upon request (in the registration form). View past schedules and register at http://www.nujlsonline.org/conferenceinfo.html
Hope to see you there! |
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| Intro, names, and binding |
[Dec. 19th, 2009|10:46 pm] |
Hello, I'm Kai. I'm 17 and FtN...ish. My actual gender is neutral, but the filter between me and the world changes from male to female and other stuff. I'm preparing to tell my parents that I'm trans within the next two months, so I will probably be asking a lot of things. Right now I'll just start with a couple questions.
First of all, I'm trying to figure out the logistics of socially switching to a different name. Right now, my six closest friends all use my preferred name. Luckily it starts with the same letter as my given name, so I've started signing papers with [first initial][last name], but I'd like to completely switch over. In January, a new semester starts and I'd like to use Kai consistently, but all of my teachers either have already had me in class or know me by my given name from elsewhere. I thought I'd email my teachers, and since they mostly seem cool they'll probably be okay, but I'm more worried about dealing with other people's "WTF, why are they calling you Kai?" Even cis people start using nicknames sometimes, but how do you actually do it?
Second thing is a binding thing. I'm lucky to have a really small chest (34A), but I'd like to get it flat and don't know how. My immediate hope was to find a tight sports bra, but it's really hard to find a size small where I live, let alone an extra-small or something like that. So now that I know I'll have to order something anyways, I figure I might as well just find out what is the most effective. |
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| Name change and tax issues |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|06:36 pm] |
Hey all,
I haven't posted to this community before (though I've been lurking for ages), so first, a quick intro:
My name is Liam and I'm a 20-year-old trans guy. I'm a college student in Washington state. I'm pre-medical transition, but I've socially transitioned as much as one who is not consistently read as male can. And on to the question:
I filed my paperwork for my name change about a month ago, and my court date will be about a month from now. Needless to say, I'm excited. I'm currently trying to figure out all the places I need to contact and have them change my name (and it sure seems like a lot!). Mostly I've got things under control, but I've been wondering about one specific situation. Over the summer, I worked at a summer camp. Do I need to contact them and let them know about my name change? I'm picturing bad scenarios with mismatching W2 forms. Would it bring up problems? Because once I change my name with the SSA, I'm assuming both my names would be on file there and linked to my social security number. I don't know. The whole tax thing kind of confuses me, and I've had problems with it before.
If I can avoid it, I'd rather not contact this camp about my name change. But of course, I will if I have to. And what exactly does one say to a former employer about this in order to ensure that there are no problems with my tax forms? Do I just need to ask them to change the name in their records, or is there something more complicated?
Sorry if these are stupid questions. I'm still a bit of a life noob, I'm afraid.
-Liam |
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| Comming Out |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|07:13 pm] |
Hey all, I just wanted to introduce myself. I've recently made the decision to move from Male to Female and have a long way to to.
I've always identified as female, but felt I was forced to hid it especially from my family. Now I've decided to stop hiding and am going to work towards being happy. |
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| Confused and Questioning - What the hell am I? |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|12:52 am] |
Hello all, my name is Kaci, 17 years old, and I just joined this community yesterday in hopes that I can receive help on some issues I'm currently facing. I would also like to say that I'm deeply sorry if I get any of the terms wrong, or I say something that offends anyone. That is not my intention at all. If I say anything wrong or off, just let me know and I'll do my best to remedy it and/or explain myself. :) Anyway, onto the actual post.
( Cut for Length )
Sorry for all of that rambling and what not. Anyway, that's really all I can think of to say about the subject. I'd really appreciate any advice about this. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|11:27 pm] |
I wanted to share my experience since up until now pretty much all I had heard from trans guys were of negative experiences with pelvic exams. If anyone put off getting one for years and years like I did out of fear of it hurting too much, being too scary, etc, I'm hoping this might be able to reassure you a bit!
( My (positive!) pap smear experience ) |
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| BioEntopic? |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|11:21 pm] |
I know that a lot of non-prescription T supplements touted by online sources are frequently pure bull, but I was wondering if anyone had heard of/tried BioEntopic?
I'm getting impatient and frustrated, and I just want some way to move forward. I've been stuck in Limbo for too long.
Any experience to share? Thanks.
-Connor
x-posted |
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| Intro |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|11:49 pm] |
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Howdy all!
Been floating around for a while but finally decided to take the plunge!
I'm Kit - Kristopher
25, FtM I'm fully transitioned and have been for almost 6 months now. My journal is still in progress but in time will document everything I went though I would love for some of you to add me as friends both for my trans posts and my general life ones although they are a tad boring! |
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| Confused with a question |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|08:08 pm] |
(Don't know what tag this should go under. Will look/try to place it, but tell me if I'm wrong?)
Okay, I'm feeling really confused/frustrated right now. Had therapy tonight, explained to the doctor very carefully how I've been feeling, and how I'm much more serious about all this than before. I explained to her how I'm willing to go through all the stuff, and even though it's scary/I worry about how it's going to go (paying for it, healing, etc.)... I wanna do it. And she seemed really accepting/understanding. And then she said that she still didn't think this is what I really want.
She understands that I hate being in a female body. She might understand that I'm starting to feel curious about having/want to have a guy body. But that doesn't count? I have to have reasons for not wanting this body that I can't even imagine what they are. I've given her logical ones, and emotional ones (hate female specific aspects, and also "I just don't like it! It's not me/how I want to be!"). I don't *know* why else I don't want to be a girl, I just don't want it. At all. Doesn't that mean anything? I don't even want to try to like this body (though maybe that's just me being stubborn). I just can't see anything about it to like- well, I like it on other people, but not me.
With "usual" trans-people (I know everyone's different, but the stereotypical kind, I guess), is there usually a specific reason they hate their body, or is it just a feeling that it doesn't "fit"? Because I think I'm missing something, and it's making me really frustrated.
...If any of that made sense to anybody, could you please offer advice? It sounded more like ranting than anything else, but I really need someone to explain things to me right now. |
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| Introduction |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|12:20 pm] |
Ok, so I'm assuming everyone has done at least one long "Who I am and what I'm all about," post I hate tradition; so here's mine.
I'm one of those "in your head types." I can drive for hours and lose myself in thought completely unaware of whats going on around me.... no accidents yet.
So to start this with a bang:
* I am transsexual MtF
* I am over critical of myself
* I over think everything
* I like that smell from a freshly lit match
* I am alone in my own right
I think that all can go under over critical.
Everything kicked off before my last deployment July of '08, (of yea I'm former military) after years of failed relationships, failed friendships, unable to really relate to anyone and a nagging feeling something wasn't right, I came to terms with the possibility I was transgendered.
Well my deployment through the Fall and winter of '08 was pretty awkward, since the more I accepted myself the more I came out of my shell which often came out in pretty flamboyant ways. I actually found it comical that my actions were often seen as ambiguous around the other guys, but by that point I didn't care since my term was up in summer of '09.
In December of '08 I started seeing a therapist in Seattle at the Seattle Counseling Services after several months of sessions I was diagnosed with GID (Gender Identity Disorder). So ever since I've been on hormones, (estradiol, and spironolactone; a testosterone blocker) with seemingly endless results, and a constant battle between jumping off the depend into transition or wadding in gently.
The greatest blessing in all this has been that after coming out to everyone I could think of my family and friends have rallied around me in support with few exceptions.
My hopes are to finish my last year on my Bachelors complete a masters and become a councilor for the TG community. Over time I've realized I'm an exception to many experiences others have gone through to be who they want to be, so I hope I can be a support and boon for those who need it.
~Z |
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| Spoken Word |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|11:21 am] |
Hey,
I'm looking for a spoken word piece about trans issues. Alix Olson comes to mind, but I'm not sure if any of her pieces talk about trans issues specifically, or just gender issues in general...
Thanks. |
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